The Beast in the Woods

The deputy shifted his weight as the black government sedan rolled to a stop at the edge of the dirt road, headlights cutting through the mist around the old Montgomery Estate.

A tall, sharply dressed man stepped out first. A woman followed - red hair, structured bob, oversized 90s suit. They approached with steady confidence.

“Agent Davids, FBI,” the man said, flashing a badge.  

“Agent Gillian,” the woman added.

The deputy nodded. “Something’s not right out here. Lights, chanting… a smell I can’t explain.”

“Occult signs?” Gillian murmured.  

“Possibly,” Davids replied. “Show us.”

They headed into the silent woods - too silent - until a grinding, wheezing noise froze them in place.

They reached a clearing.

A blue police box stood there.

Beside it: a man in a tweed jacket and bow tie, and a woman with wild blonde curls in a white leather jacket and boots.

“I definitely packed a fez,” the man muttered.  

“You always say that,” the woman replied.

“Hands where we can see them!” the deputy barked.

The man beamed. “Hello! I’m the Doctor. This is River Song.”

River gave them an amused little wave. “Hello, boys.”

After a tense moment - and the Doctor’s psychic paper - the agents lowered their weapons.

Davids stepped forward. “What brings UNIT out here?”  

River leaned toward the Doctor and whispered. “UNIT credentials again?”

The Doctor whispered back, “Very useful, UNIT credentials.”

Addressing Agent David, “That depends,” the Doctor said. “Anything strange at the old ruins?”

The deputy laughed nervously. “That’s why we called the FBI.”

River rested a hand on her holster, smiling.

“Then we’re exactly where we need to be.”

Background

This game is inspired by the scenario of the same name found in Tales of Horror, the supplement for Fistful of Horror, itself an expansion of the core Fistful of Lead ruleset.

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Turn 1

The group pushed through the trees until the burnt‑out Montgomery Estate appeared - nothing left but blackened stone, collapsed beams, and the jagged remains of old chimneys.

“This is it,” the deputy murmured.

River eyed the ruins. “Charming.”

“Big house once,” the deputy said. “Three Montgomery sisters lived here. Fire in ’34. Screaming heard for miles. No survivors.”

“Local hauntings?” River asked.

“Folks avoid this place after dark.”

But the Doctor wasn’t listening - his gaze was fixed on flickering torchlight farther up the hill.

“That,” he said softly, “is our problem.”

They moved deeper into the woods.

Low, rhythmic chanting drifted through the dark.

The Doctor tilted his head, listening closely.

“Early Mesopotamian structure… adapted through several medieval cult traditions. Very messy pronunciation though.”

River froze. “Oh no.”

The Doctor nodded. “Ancient summoning ritual. And judging by the rhythm, they’re nearly finished.”

At the hilltop, robed cultists circled candles and carved symbols. A leader raised a ceremonial book.

One cultist spotted movement.

The chanting stopped.

“They’ve seen us,” Davids whispered.

The cultists slipped into the shadows, forming a defensive ring.

“Cults,” the Doctor sighed. “So theatrical.”

Then a cultist stumbled - and the air shimmered.

A ghostly woman appeared, her charred dress fluttering, her face hollow and pale.

“Leave… this… place…” she whispered.

The cultist crumpled in terror.

River exhaled. “Well, that explains the haunting.”

“Residual psychic trauma,” the Doctor murmured. “The Montgomery sisters… not happy at all.”

Turn 2

Agent Gillian moved ahead, pistol raised, scanning the trees.

“Movement, twelve o’clock,” she whispered.

A cultist burst from the shadows, swinging a baton. Gillian fired once - he dropped instantly.

“Nice and tidy,” Davids muttered.

“Occupational habit,” she replied.

Another cultist popped up behind a fallen log, firing wildly. His muzzle flash gave him away.

River sighed. “Amateurs.”

She fired a clean laser shot. The man fell.

A knife‑wielding cultist lunged at her next. River dodged and shoved him into a tree.

“Personal space.”

But a second attacker struck from behind. His blade found its mark. River collapsed as her pistol fell from her hand.

“River!” the Doctor cried, rushing to her.

The deputy reacted fast - two shots, two cultists down.

“Nobody stabs people on my watch,” he muttered.

The woods fell silent - then chilled.

A ghostly woman appeared, drifting above the wounded cultists. They screamed as she whispered:

“Leave… this… place…”

Davids glanced at the apparition. “Huh.”

Then kept moving.

The Doctor knelt beside River.

“Stay with me,” he whispered.

River groaned. “Relax, Doctor. Not my first stabbing.”

He frowned. “I wish it would stop happening.”

Above them, up on the hill, the cult leader continued the summoning ritual.

Turn 3

The Doctor stared up at the hilltop where candlelight flickered and the chanting grew faster.

“Oh no,” he muttered.

“They’re nearly finished, aren’t they?” Davids asked.

The Doctor nodded grimly. “If that ritual completes, we won’t just have ghosts - something worse will break through.”

The deputy swallowed. “Define worse.”

“Trust me,” the Doctor said. “You don’t want to meet it. Up the hill!”

The deputy charged toward the cultist who had stabbed River.

“Drop the blade!” he shouted.

The cultist didn’t. The fight was quick and brutal - two flashes of the knife - and the deputy fell, bleeding out on the forest floor. The cultist sneered over him.

Nearby, another wounded cultist tried to rise.

“You… federal witch…” he spat.

“Bad idea,” Gillian replied, firing once. He dropped instantly.

Davids nodded. “Efficient.”

“Thank you.”

A cold glow swept through the clearing as another Montgomery sister appeared, drifting toward the knife‑wielding cultist.

“YOU… DEFILER…”

The man shrieked and stumbled away as the ghost passed through him like freezing wind.

The Doctor watched approvingly. “Well, that’s helpful.”

He pointed uphill where the chanting hit its peak.

“While our ghostly friends keep them busy,” he said, breaking into a run, “let’s stop a summoning.”

Turn 4

The Doctor sprinted up the hill toward the blazing ritual circle.

“Excuse me! Terribly sorry!” he shouted breathlessly. “Important summoning in progress, is it? Very dramatic, love the candles!”.

The cult leader ignored him, chanting over a glowing ritual tome.

“Doctor! Stop him!” Davids shouted.

“I’m trying!”

The Doctor skidded to the edge of the circle, pulled out his sonic, and aimed it at the book.

“Let’s see what we can do about your bedtime reading,” he muttered.

The pages began flipping wildly.

The cult leader faltered. “Stop! The invocation - where is it?!”

“Disrupted concentration, broken sequence, summoning circle compromised. You’ll have to start all over again,” the Doctor said proudly. “Honestly, amateur mistake. Never rely on page numbers during a cosmic invocation.”

Then the sonic sputtered… and died.

“Oh come on,” he groaned.

The cult leader slowly looked up, furious. “You meddling fool!”

“In my defence, you were about to summon an interdimensional horror. That’s usually where I draw the line,” the Doctor offered.

Lightning crackled in the cult leader’s hand.

“Oh, that’s new - ”

A bolt of energy slammed into the Doctor, hurling him backward.

He hit the ground hard, stunned. The sonic screwdriver rolled from his hand.

The Doctor groaned, stunned and wounded.

Down in the woods, Davids and Gillian exchanged gunfire with the last cultists.

Shots cracked through the trees.

“Contact!” Davids shouted.

Gillian fired back until her pistol clicked empty.

“Magazine’s dry.”

“Bad timing,” Davids muttered.

“Story of my life.”

Turn 5

The last gunshot faded, and the woods finally fell silent. Davids stepped out from behind a tree as the final cultist collapsed.

“That was the last one,” Gillian said, lowering her weapon.

A ghostly Montgomery sister drifted nearby, watching over the fallen cultist before fading into the dark.

Davids exhaled. “Well,” he said calmly, “nice to know someone’s keeping an eye on things.”

Up on the hill, the Doctor pushed himself to his feet, brushing ash from his scorched shirt.

“Oh, brilliant,” he groaned. He tugged the fabric irritably. “This was my favourite shirt!”

The cult leader readied another spell, energy crackling around his hands. The Doctor glanced at his dead sonic.

“If technology fails…”

He lunged forward, twisting the leader’s wrist and flipping him to the ground in one smooth motion.

“Venusian Aikido,” he said, pinning him. “No summoning on my watch.”

The cult leader struggled once more - then went still.

Minutes later, law enforcement swarmed the estate, rounding up survivors and securing the site.

Agent Gillian snapped her phone shut. “Backup’s on site.”

“Good night’s work,” Davids replied as deputies and agents began escorting prisoners away.

At the hilltop, the Doctor collected the ritual tome.

“Definitely not leaving this lying around,” he said. “Perfect for the TARDIS library.”

Three faint spirits - the Montgomery sisters - hovered near the ruins.

“Your home is safe again,” he told them. They faded peacefully.

Down by the clearing, the TARDIS waited patiently.

River Song leaned against it, a bandage across her side, casually chatting with the FBI agents.

“So you two chase cults for a living?” Gillian asked.

River winked. “Among other things.”

The Doctor arrived looking rumpled.

“You look terrible,” River noted.

“You should see the other guy,” he said, opening the TARDIS door.

“Ready?”

“Always.”

River gave the agents a final wink. “Good luck with the paperwork.”

The TARDIS groaned to life and vanished.

Gillian stared at the empty clearing.

“Think anyone will believe our reports?”

Davids shrugged and started back toward the waiting vehicles.

“Probably not. Good thing we’ve got great imaginations.”

Final Outcome & Observations

This game took a slightly different narrative approach, though it still ran on the familiar Fistful of Lead mechanics. The scenario from Tales of Horror immediately lent itself to a Doctor Who adaptation, requiring only light tweaks to place the Eleventh Doctor and River Song at the centre. I briefly considered using a full UNIT team, but the FBI angle gave the story a fresher tone.

The dice, however, were merciless to the cultists. Despite using a D12, they rolled poorly at nearly every crucial moment. They consistently failed to threaten the Doctor’s team, even when the odds should have favoured them.

Ironically, the cult excelled only at advancing the summoning ritual - turn after turn they pushed it closer to completion. But when the cult leader greedily attempted to escalate the ritual, the Doctor’s interference wiped out all progress in an instant. That early ritual momentum actually sped up the whole game, driving the investigators to charge the hill much sooner than the scenario normally expects. What should have lasted eight turns wrapped up far quicker.

Victory Points

• Doctor’s Team:  6 points (cult leader and cultists taken Out of the Fight)

• Cultists: 2 points (River Song and the Deputy taken Out of the Fight)

This resulted in a comfortable victory for the Doctor’s side.

In the end, this was a perfect example of tabletop unpredictability: hours of preparation, atmospheric setup, and narrative framing undone by some truly unfortunate rolls. The entire game lasted just five turns, one of our shortest sessions to date - but still packed with memorable moments: ghosts drifting through the trees, River trading blaster fire, and the Doctor ending the confrontation with a flourish of Venusian Aikido.